Two nights ago, I was in a terrible state. I was swimming in despair and self-pity that all I can do was curl in bed and cry - like a helpless baby without her mother.
It hit me that a lot of things have changed in my life in a span of five years. I was a carefree single human being who thinks and worries nothing more than herself. Now, here I am, a wife and mother - my primary role in my life.
For that single night however, the joy of being a mother did not stop me from getting sad. I have never thought of myself for a long time... My worries now, more than anything else, is what I can give my children, my husband and the people in my family.
Where did this all this start? An iPod Touch that I might not even like for a long time. It symbolized something more than just a gadget that night though. It was that thing I can afford a lot of times but I can never have. It was a promise that was not delivered.. like a dream that will forever be just a dream.
It was silly. It was selfish and yes, it was a feeling I overcame when I saw my children the following morning. What was I thinking?