Friday, December 9, 2011

That Apple Dream

Two nights ago, I was in a terrible state.  I was swimming in despair and self-pity that all I can do was curl in bed and cry - like a helpless baby without her mother.  

It hit me that a lot of things have changed in my life in a span of five years.  I was a carefree single human being who thinks and worries nothing more than herself.  Now, here I am, a wife and mother - my primary role in my life.  

For that single night however, the joy of being a mother did not stop me from getting sad.  I have never thought of myself for a long time... My worries now, more than anything else, is what I can give my children, my husband and the people in my family.  

Where did this all this start?  An iPod Touch that I might not even like for a long time.  It symbolized something more than just a gadget that night though.  It was that thing I can afford a lot of times but I can never have.  It was a promise that was not delivered.. like a dream that will forever be just a dream.

It was silly.  It was selfish and yes, it was a feeling I overcame when I saw my children the following morning.  What was I thinking?  

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